A Reclaimed Vine in the Pardes

They reported on it on Nazi Palestinian Radio (NPR) and the Bolshevik Broadcasting Company (BBC). Its name was whispered beside water coolers from the big fat apple to frisco, and they couldn't shut up about it on that boob tube. Lips everywhere uttered the name of this place, this new wonderland, some sort of pardes (from which the word 'paradise' is derived from). For it was only months before that it magically appeared ‘yesh m’eyn’, something from nothing. Yet they said that millions had already entered into this mysterious realm with the utterly stupid and unsexy name of 'blogosphere'.

Then around Hannuka time, I myself passed through the gates of the mythical pardes, leaving the darkness of the winter solstice behind.

And what an amazing discovery this was…this alluring vineyard of ideas, gleaming sweet fruits, pearls of wisdom and originality hanging heavy off the fragrant vines. And so many souls, once caged, now liberated (mostly from Veelimzboorg. Mahnsee, Bodo Pahk and Flahtboosh) leaping jauntily from blog to blog.

Awe struck and wide eyed I proceeded deeper, but not before pausing at a small clearing to plant my own vine.

I named it. And it even flourished for a while. I too felt liberated, and I don’t even come from the cluster of oh-so-holy towns mentioned above.

Excitedly, I watered my vine with my own two shekels, hoping someone would care and share. A few actually did come to visit and pick the fruit of my vine, but not as many as I had hoped. I knew these things take time, but still, I’m an impatient Jew, quick to lose steam. And there were so many other impressive vines in full bloom with so many devoted visitors, leaving mine easy to ignore. After all, what’s the point of painting a painting if no one stops to gaze if not admire? Why write a book if it’s destined to remain unread, shut on a darkened shelf? The challenge seemed almost insurmountable

So, like many other disillusioned bloggers, I abandoned my vine in the depths of winter, with a silent, guilty promise to return one day. yet from a distance, I noticed that some curious souls managed to stumble upon my lonely plant.

But I’m happy to announce, with absolutely zero fanfare, on a day that happens to fall on my daughter’s eighth birthday, that I’m back.

Aside from my triumphant resurfacing on this date, something else occurred exactly 201 years ago, in the life of the Jewish people: Upon his return from the Austerlitz campaign, Napoleon was assailed by a group of Alsatians (a mongrel Franco-German border region, Alsace is in northeastern France), who blamed the Jews in their midst for all their misfortunes. One half the estates in the province, these goyim alleged, were mortgaged to, and now owned by their Jewish creditors. A massacre loomed over Jewish heads, they threatened darkly. Meanwhile statewide attacks ensued against Jewish influence in general. On this 30th day of April, 201 years ago, Napoleon declared himself to be violently against the Jews, but before anyone could utter the word pogrom, he changed his mind a mere week later, taking the first steps leading to the creation of the Great Sanhedrin the following year.

Valentine of love, hate and death

Beginning in kindergarten, our teachers in yeshiva implanted and nurtured within each of our little minds a tiny virus, known as HAS, or Halloween Aversion Syndrome. If gestated successfully (and it often wasn’t) this virus programmed the mind it inhabited to utterly reject the dastardly thirty first day of October, to see it as muktzeh, a form of idol worship, evil witchcraft, and to always remember that this day was a special time for desecrators of Jewish cemeteries.

A similar virus was implanted to do the same for St Valentine’s Day. As a result I instinctively recoiled since the age of 5 from anything remotely Valentinian. My future wife was horrified upon discovering that I was infected with the anti-Valentine virus. After all she grew up in a goyishe suburb, where everyone was appropriately amorous on St Valentine’s, an evening of romantic dinners and perhaps even gifts (bribes?) of roses, jewelry or lingerie. One time she scolded me for failing to make reservations at some French restaurant she had eyed. Lucky for me though: nothing for a non-religious orthodox Jew to eat in the joint, with all those horrible treifeh entrées filling the menu.

FYI -- there were actually three Saint Valentines, all martyred in the latter years of the Roman empire. The current legends that characterize Saint Valentine were invented in 14th century, notably by Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle, when the feast day of February 14 first became associated with romantic love.

I’m too scared to tell my wife, but there is a fine reason for Jews not to celebrate St Valentine’s. For it was on this day that the Massacre of Strasbourg took place in 1349, perhaps the worst of the terrible series of outrages which took place at the time of the Black Death. The city council was favorable to the Jews, and resisted efforts to harm them. The populace however blamed Jews for the fluctuation in the price of corn, and felt that the council was conspiring to protect them.

On Febrary 14, a mob barricaded the Judengasse and drove the whole Jewish community to the cemetery where they built a huge pyre. About 2000 Jewish men, women and children were burned to death. A new council took over and declared that Jews shall be barred from the city for a century, but this kherem was eased 20 years later.

Among the spoils of that day was a shofar the mob had found in the shul. This find confirmed the suspicions of the townsfolk: it was, they said, prepared by the Jews in order to betray the city. By blowing it, the Jews would be able to inform their allies lurking outside the city walls.

For many years after, the so-called ‘Judenblos’ was blown each evening on a ‘grusselhorn’, an imitation shofar, as a warning to any Jews to depart the city limits before nightfall, and also as a reminder to the townspeople of their miraculous escape from the devious of the Jews in 1349!

Happy Valentines!

A Tale of Tubas and do you believe in magic?

I’m in a playful mood. Yippie. How about a little game I just devised? Here's how it goes. Read the brief story below, then follow the instructions:

"Hussam Sawafta was born in Tubas in the West Bank. Last month, Hussam’s brother Salah, an Islamic Jihadi, was killed in a shootout with Tzahal forces. Then last week, Hussam was arrested, charged with helping his brother Salah plan a terror attack in Israel."

So far, just an ordinary story of a scummy Arab terrorist meeting his rightful fate, and the arrest of his odious brother. Nothing unusual, right?

Wrong. This story is a bit more interesting, for this isn't merely the tale of the elimination of an abomination. So now, please pretend to cut the italicized text below and paste it into the paragraph above, right after the first sentence:

‘Having found work in Israel in 1991, Hussam converted to Judaism, changed his name to Asaf Ben David, became frum, got married and had four kids.'

Now, to finish this curious game, add the text below as the final sentence in the story:

‘It seems Hussam had re-established contact with his family in Tubas months before, and converted back to Islam following his brother’s death’.

What can one say. Here's a person that burned his bridges to his family, forsook everything to become a Jew, and not only a Jew -- a frum Jew. Jewish wife, kids. And yet...
So: what wonderful lessons can be learned from this little tale? Anyone?

Oh yeah, thanks for playing!

Item 2: Today's Science Times has an article about superstition. Lets face it, when we think no one's watching we have at some point in our life exhibited all sorts of weird, even obsessive compulsive behaviors. like avoiding cracks on the sidewalk, touching objects repeatedly, or even making sure we stepped back and then forward the correct number of times while reciting shmoneh esreh. Or that we (pretend) we enunciate every single word during davening, for if we didn't, we'd have to go back and pronouce the word(s) properly. Or we step into sealed rooms during sud attacks with our right foot (read below). The Times article follows.

from the NY Times, January 23, 2007

Do You Believe in Magic?

By BENEDICT CAREY

A graduate school application can go sour in as many ways as a blind date. The personal essay might seem too eager, the references too casual. The admissions officer on duty might be nursing a grudge. Or a hangover. Rachel Riskind of Austin, Tex., nonetheless has a good feeling about her chances for admittance to the University of Michigan's exclusive graduate program in psychology, and it's not just a matter of her qualifications. On a recent afternoon, as she was working on the admissions application, she went out for lunch with co-workers. Walking from the car to the restaurant in a misting rain, she saw a woman stroll by with a Michigan umbrella. "I felt it was a sign; you almost never see Michigan stuff here," said Ms. Riskind, 22. "And I guess I think that has given me a kind of confidence. Even if it's a false confidence, I know that that in itself can help people do well."Psychologists and anthropologists have typically turned to faith healers, tribal cultures or New Age spiritualists to study the underpinnings of belief in superstition or magical powers. Yet they could just as well have examined their own neighbors, lab assistants or even some fellow scientists. New research demonstrates that habits of so-called magical thinking — the belief, for instance, that wishing harm on a loathed colleague or relative might make him sick — are far more common than people acknowledge. These habits have little to do with religious faith, which is much more complex because it involves large questions of morality,community and history. But magical thinking underlies a vast, often unseen universe of small rituals that accompany people through every waking hour of a day.The appetite for such beliefs appears to be rooted in the circuitry of the brain, and for good reason. The sense of having special powers buoys people in threatening situations, and helps soothe everyday fears and ward off mental distress. In excess, it can lead to compulsive or delusional behavior. This emerging portrait of magical thinking helps explain why people who fashion themselves skeptics cling to odd rituals that seem to make no sense, and how apparently harmless superstition may become disabling.The brain seems to have networks that are specialized to produce an explicit, magical explanation in some circumstances, said Pascal Boyer, a professor of psychology and anthropology at Washington University in St. Louis. In an e-mail message, he said such thinking was "only one domain where a relevant interpretation that connects all the dots, so to speak, is preferred to a rational one." Children exhibit a form of magical thinking by about 18 months, when they begin to create imaginary worlds while playing. By age 3, most know the difference between fantasy and reality, though they usually still believe (with adult encouragement) in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. By age 8, and sometimes earlier, they have mostly pruned away these beliefs, and the line between magic and reality is about as clear to them as it is for adults.It is no coincidence, some social scientists believe, that youngsters begin learning about faith around the time they begin to give up on wishing. "The point at which the culture withdraws support for belie fin Santa and the Tooth Fairy is about the same time it introduces children to prayer," said Jacqueline Woolley, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas. "The mechanism is already there, kids have already spent time believing that wishing can make things come true, and they're just losing faith in the efficacy of that."If the tendency to think magically were no more than self-defeating superstition, then over the pitiless history of human evolution it should have all but disappeared in intellectually mature adults. Yet in a series of experiments published last summer, psychologists at Princeton and Harvard showed how easy it was to elicit magical thinking in well-educated young adults. In one instance, the researchers had participants watch a blindfolded person play an arcade basketball game, and visualize success for the player. The game,unknown to the subjects, was rigged: the shooter could see through the blindfold, had practiced extensively and made most of the shots. On questionnaires, the spectators said later that they had probably had some role in the shooter's success. A comparison group of participants, who had been instructed to visualize the player lifting dumbbells, was far less likely to claim such credit. In another experiment, the researchers demonstrated that young men and women instructed on how to use a voodoo doll suspected that they might have put a curse on a study partner who feigned a headache. And they found, similarly, that devoted fans who watched the 2005 Super Bowl felt somewhat responsible for the outcome, whether their team won or lost. Millions in Chicago and Indianapolis are currently trying to channel the winning magic."The question is why do people create this illusion of magical power?"said the lead author, Emily Pronin, an assistant professor of psychology and public affairs at Princeton. "I think in part it's because we are constantly exposed to our own thoughts, they are most salient to us" — and thus we are likely to overestimate their connection to outside events.The brain, moreover, has evolved to make snap judgments about causation, and will leap to conclusions well before logic can be applied. In an experiment presented last fall at the Society for Neuroscience meeting, Ben Parris of the University of Exeter in England presented magnetic resonance imaging scans taken from the brains of people watching magic tricks. In one, the magician performed a simple sleight of hand: he placed a coin in his palm, closed his fingers over it, then opened his hand to reveal that the coin was gone. Dr. Parris and his colleagues found spikes of activity in regions of the left hemisphere of the brain that usually become engaged when people form hypotheses in uncertain situations.These activations occur so quickly, other researchers say, that they often link two events based on nothing more than coincidence: "I was just thinking about looking up my high school girlfriend when out of the blue she called me," or, "The day after I began praying for a quick recovery, she emerged from the coma." For people who are generally uncertain of their own abilities, or slow to act because of feelings of inadequacy, this kind of thinking can bean antidote, a needed activator, said Daniel M. Wegner, a professor of psychology at Harvard. (Dr. Wegner was a co-author of the voodoo study, with Kimberly McCarthy of Harvard and Sylvia Rodriguez of Princeton.) "I deal with students like this all the time and I say, `Let's get you overconfident,' " Dr. Wegner said. "This feeling that your thought scan somehow control things can be a needed feeling" — the polar opposite of the helplessness, he added, that so often accompanies depression. Magical thinking is most evident precisely when people feel most helpless. Giora Keinan, a professor at Tel Aviv University, sent questionnaires to 174 Israelis after the Iraqi Scud missile attacks of the 1991 gulf war. Those who reported the highest level of stress were also the most likely to endorse magical beliefs, like "I have the feeling that the chances of being hit during a missile attack are greater if a person whose house was attacked is present in the sealed room," or "To be on the safe side, it is best to step into the sealed room right foot first.""It is of interest to note," Dr. Keinan concluded, "that persons who hold magical beliefs or engage in magical rituals are often aware that their thoughts, actions or both are unreasonable and irrational.Despite this awareness, they are unable to rid themselves of such behavior."On athletic fields, at the craps table or out sailing in the open ocean, magical thinking is a way of life. Elaborate, entirely nonsensical rituals are performed with solemn deliberation, complete with theories of magical causation."I am hoping I do not change my clothes for the rest of the season,that I really start to stink," said Tom Livatino, head basketball coach at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago, who wears the same outfit as long as his team is winning. (And it usually does.) The idea, Mr. Livatino said, is to do as much as possible to recreate the environment that surrounds his team's good play. He doesn't change his socks; he doesn't empty his pockets; and he works the sideline with the sense he has done everything possible to win. "The full commitment," he explained. "I'll do anything to give us an edge."Only in extreme doses can magical thinking increase the likelihood of mental distress, studies suggest. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder are often nearly paralyzed by the convictions that they must perform elaborate rituals, like hand washing or special prayers, toward off contamination or disaster. The superstitions, perhaps harmless at the outset, can grow into disabling defense mechanisms. Those whose magical thoughts can blossom into full-blown delusion and psychosis appear to be a fundamentally different group in their own right, said Mark Lenzenweger, a professor of clinical science,neuroscience and cognitive psychology at Binghamton, part of the State University of New York. "These are people for whom magical thinking is a central part of how they view the world," not a vague sense of having special powers, he said. "Whereas with most people, if you were to confront them about their magical beliefs, they would back down." Reality is the most potent check on runaway magical thoughts, and in the vast majority of people it prevents the beliefs from becoming anything more than comforting — and disposable — private rituals. When something important is at stake, a test or a performance or a relationship, people don't simply perform their private rituals: they prepare. And if their rituals start getting in the way, they adapt quickly.Mr. Livatino lives and breathes basketball, but he also recently was engaged to be married. "I can tell you she doesn't like the clothes superstition," he said."She has made that pretty clear."

This day in the life of the Jews will return tomorrow.

Sabbath without gravity

I've been riveted by the thousands of beautiful images being transmitted to Earth from the Cassini space craft orbiting Saturn, each resembling a masterful abstract painting.

Many of you know that Cassini launched a smaller minicraft (known as Huygens) at Titan, Saturn's largest moon. Titan is a complex world in its own right, similar in many ways to primordial earth as it existed (with apologies to devout readers) billions of years ago. Huygens snapped many photos as it parachuted down to Titan's surface.

You'd see something like this if you were gazing out an airplane window over the lake regions of Minnesota, southern Finland or northern Quebec. In fact the lakes in this picture are filled with liquid methane and dot Titan's northern latitudes.

Titan is just one of several moons orbiting Saturn and Jupiter which may be home to primitive alien life forms. And we haven't mentioned Mars. Astronauts will visit these places one day.

There are many Jewish laws which will face challenges if and when religious Jews ever leave the orbit of planet earth.

But I'd like to focus on the question of Shabbat. How does a devout Jew observe Shabbat, or daven in space? Let's assume a devout Jew in the year 2037 moves permanently to a base on the moon, which doesn't spin. How would one daven three times a day in an environment where day and night don't alternate? And what if our little frum astronaut friend gets transferred to a space station orbiting Saturn, which revolves around the sun once in almost 30 years. What would that do to our (24 x 7 x 365 earth schdule) weekly parsha reading?

On this day in the life of the Jewish people in 1784: the poll tax was abolished in France by Louis XVI. Until then, Jews living in the eastern provinces of Alsace and Lorraine (just an FYI -these regions are a mix of German and French cultures) were required to pay a special road toll upon entry or departure from all cities. Known as Impot de Pied Forchu (poll of the cloven foot) this tax was identical to one imposed on every animal going to market. It's worth noting that despite the delay to full emancipation for the Jews of England, degradation was always much worse in most countries on the Continent, as late the French Revolution.

The mystery of the changing tribe names

I'm introducing some new features on NYAPIKORES. First, each blog entry will contain a brief synopsis of key events that occurred on that day in the life of the Jewish People, with an emphasis on the forgotten past -- essentially pre-World War II. So here we go: on this day in 1895, Captain Alfred Dreyfus, accused of treachery, was publicly degraded in Paris, in the face of his cries of innocence. He was deported to Devils Island soon after. Theodore Herzl would soon be aroused to kick start the Zionist movement.

Apart from 'this day in the Jewish life', I'm introducing a weekly feature to appear on Fridays. This will be a brief comment on the weekly portion in the ancient NYAPIKORES tradition...

This week's parsha (portion) is Vayekhi ('And he lived'), the last section in Breishit (Genesis), the centerpiece of which are Jacob's blessings to his sons on his deathbed. While devout Jews view the blessings as prophecy, they are actually a reflection of many tribal realities as they existed during the Judges and monarchy periods (which began hundreds of years after the purported events reported in this weeks portion were to have occurred). These later events were then projected back into the semi-mythical Israelite past, to be retold and discussed as allegories. Judah and Efraim (one of Joseph's sons -- traditionally Joseph ended up with two tribes named after his two sons: Efraim and Menashe) received the best blessings of all from Jacob, and lo and behold, they were to become the two leading, and eventually rival, tribes.

There are many interesting insights to glean from the blessings, but we'll touch on only a few. For example Yisakhar, comes from two words, Yesh Sakhar, or 'have salary' - seems the Yissakharites were paid laborers of the Canaanites. Benjamin is called a killer wolf, which may be an allusion to the horrible story of Pilegesh BaGiv'a (the concubine of Giv'a), itself a close facsimile of the story of Sodom. I'll discuss that another time.

Anyway, I'd like to dwell (I'm supposed to keep this short, right?) on the list of brothers (tribes) which is the traditional lineup most familiar. Reuven Shimon Levi Yehuda etc. I'll assume that you're familiar with the list, and if not you can look it up in the portion. Now, one would assume that the tribal roster wold remain consistent through the Tanach. But this isn't so. In Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 33, Shimon is absent from Moshe's series of blessings to the tribes. Why?

Meanwhile, Shoftim (Judges) 1, features a very different list, in which Joseph is an independent tribe apart from his sons Efraim and Menashe. Reuven, Gad, Levi and Yisakhar are absent. Odd.

Finally in Shoftim 5, which contains the very ancient Song of Devora, we find yet another roster.
Here, not 12 but 11 tribes are mentioned. Three are not sons of Jacob: Machir, Gil'ad, and Meroz. Five on the traditional list are absent: Shimon, Levi, Yehuda, Menashe and Gad. Hmmm...
Its been observed by many scholars for a variety of reasons that its likely that the traditional list is most recent, while the roster in Devora's Song is most ancient.

Its not surprising that in general yeshiva students aren't urged by their rabbis to study the prophets and writings. Exposure to these neglected parts of the Bible would raise too many questions in their minds, bring attention to inconsistencies and even raise doubts in their innocent minds as to the divine authorship of the Torah. Who needs such trouble?
Shabbat Shalom.

Trending Orthodox and the disappearing Yid

I'm a big fan of Hillel Halkin. Read his latest in the New York Sun on Jewish population trends in the US.

I'm one of those almost extinct ethnic Jews Halkin refers to. There are still a few of us left. If Halkin lived in the States, he'd be one too. Ethnic Jews can also be called 'Second Avenue Deli Jews', after the famous (and recently closed) Kosher deli on the Lower East Side that was open on Sabbaths but not on Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur or Passover.

Did I say I've always been a big admirer of Halkin's? I am. if (but not) only for his prodigious and varied output, beginning with 'Letters to an American Jewish Friend' written three decades ago, and through his ongoing flood of articles in Commentary, the Forward, as well as the Sun.

Even in the relatively insular and Jewish Lower East Side, I witness catastrophic assimilation at work. in the eighties, the rate of assimilation was said to be 50%. Well, its much steeper than that in the shtetl which is my hood. Any Jew who hasn't (in some combination) gone to an Orthodox Jewish school, been to Israel and/or isn't kosher at home, almost always (no hyperbole) intermarries. An informal playground count indicates that even in our oh-so very Jewish neighborhood, and excluding the orthodox, intermarriage is running at about, oh, 90%.

Some readers may wonder why NYapikores would care. Well, the only thing keeping us Ethnic Jews from extinction are...Orthodox Jews.